My Weekend

This weekend I left my boys to go on a trip with my mom and sister. We went to a Women's conference in South Carolina. It is a conference that is designed to uplift women through great speakers and music.



Mom and Deborah picked me up about 1 on Friday. The drive seemed to take forever... mostly because I hate being in a car that long. It was fun to hang out and chit chat though. We stopped by sonic on the way, and that was an adventure in itself. Mom has a garmin, and we used it to get around. We did a search on food, found sonic, and decided to eat there. The garmin took us through some... less than desirable area... and back into a normal neighborhood where sonic was. the trip delayed us for about an hour (driving + eating). We got to the conference just in time for it to start. When we got there we walked around looking at the different displays with books and CD's and a really cool food storage display. Then the presentation started. There were two song presenters, Michael McLean and Mark Mabry (I think, I'm awful with names). There were a lot of really funny songs. The speakers were all great, the problem is that I am awful at remembering them. I seem to remember them when I need them, but other than that I forget them. However, on Friday, there was one thing that stuck with me very strongly, and that is free agency parenting. Chieko Okazaki mentioned it for just a few minutes Friday night, and that was it. It caught my attention, but then that was it... I wanted to know more on this theory. I was disappointed that I just got a taste... but then, on Saturday, She gave a whole talk on it!! I was really excited because the theory seems exactly in line with the kind of parent I want to be. I know that it probably won't work quite as well as makes it sound, but it is worth a shot. The theory is to teach your child the principles, and then let them govern themselves. An example that she gave was with her second grade class, when the students fought, she has some discussion chairs that faced each other, and the idea that was instead of figuring out the problem for the kids, to let them sort it out themselves. I love this idea! I hear of t0 many parents who, in my opinion, over parent. they allow their kids no freedom, and the kids usually rebel against that style of parenting. So anyhow, that is a theory that I want to try and use.

The conference theme, and most of the talks, were about the worth of women. That we tend to undermine ourselves as parents and wives. They spoke a lot on how much we do without even knowing the things that we do.

They also had several tables loaded up with books, music, and other things. My mom bought me a really pretty picture frame with a quote about families on it.

So, while I was at the conference, there were several things that stuck in my mind that had noting to do with the conference, but that I feel came from being in a spiritual environment. The first is a feeling that I have gotten before, and that is that we are suppose to be in the ward that we are in. We were in Cherokee for a long time, and never once did we get the feeling that we belonged there. There are a few people from that ward that I love, but there were more people there that showed an obvious dislike for my family, and me, and therefore my spouse. We were prevented from fulfilling our callings there because so many people believed a bunch of rumors. The while thing. There was a lot of other drama and hard feeling from Cherokee. I do feel like we were suppose to be there to learn that going to church is not always a social thing, but to go for ourselves, which I think was getting us ready for the ward we are in now. In Between wards we went to Franklin for a few months, and that was just a pick me up to get us ready for waynesville as well. I love Franklin, and wish that we could go to church there because of the people as well as the spirit there. anyhow, all of that brings me to what I felt, and that is that we are suppose to be in waynesville ward. Waynesville is not an easy ward. There is us, another couple about 5 years older, and then everyone else is around 75. Our Bishop, who is in his fifties, says that he feels really young in this ward. There are only about 40-60 active people. there are no kids in nursery, and about five in the while primary who are active. I've Sundays in which there is only one kid, or no kids in primary or nursery. The youth program has 2-3 active young women, and maybe 3-4 active boys. I say active, but two of those never really come to activities. The people in this ward refuse to commit to anything it seems, So many people turn down callings. There is no example that I can give without offending. The things that I am saying about this ward are all common knowledge, and people talk about what to do to make it better. Our current Bishop is doing a great job at making things better, but it takes time, a lot of time. Another problem that our ward has is that they (I say they, but it is just a few more out spoken sisters) are against youth and technology. Anytime someone mentions either of those categories, the lesson turns to the evils of today and how technology is going to doom us all, and that these kids today just have no since of real work or responsibility and blah blah blah. It always irritates to me to hear this. there are a few other people who stand up for the youth and technology. But imagine you are new to this ward, and you are under the age of 25, and you hear them talking trash about the younger generations. It just doesn't go over well.

the point of explaining that is to say that we have trouble getting new people. they come to our ward, meet a few people, and then never come back. There is no way that a ward can grow if it is a place that most people do not want to be. I feel like this is part of where Chris and I come in. We have already learned that we need to go to church for more than just social reasons from being in Cherokee. me and Chris have been praying for the ward in that we hope more people will move in (something we got from Franklin ward). We have talked to the bishop about this idea as well. I believe that Chris and I are here to help out those new people who are not 75 years old. This ward could do it without us, but I believe that we are here to help the ward to grow by just bringing the age curve way down. As people move in, I hope that we can make them feel welcomed. I hope that we can be friends with them. I hope that we can help them to better understand the uniqueness of our ward. Mostly, I hope that we can help them to stay in our ward, so that they to, can help encourage the next new person to move, and so on until we are actually the size of a ward. I'm not saying that we will be the reason this ward grows, simply that we are suppose to be here to help it grow.

There is another very strong reason that I believe we are in this ward, this is a feeling I get often, and that is our friendship with the burrows. They are the greatest people ever! We hang out with them all the time, and love every minute of it. They are the people who make going to church easier for us. We get along on so many different levels. I'm really not sure who helps who more. I know that their friendship means the world to Chris and I, and I believe that we help them out as well. It is always good to have strong friendships in the church. I believe that we support each other in going to church (or skipping...in case Jenn reads this lol). I know that our friendship was something that was meant to happen. On a side note, the first time we went to church in waynesville, I picked them out and told Chris that we should invite them over for dinner and get to know them. They could not make it that night, and it was a year before we actually hung out. I just think that it is neat that they caught my attention early on, and then we became really good friends)

That brings me to my next topic that I thought a lot about while at this conference, and that is friendships.... but that will have to wait till tomorrow.

(btw, I know I said some things about waynesville that were not best, but I do love this ward, and know that this is where we are supposed to be)